Written by Hannah Beaver, LCSW, Alumni Coordinator at The Renfrew Center
Kindness is a fairly simple concept to understand, and even pretty easy to apply when dealing with others, yet for some reason, when it comes to treating ourselves with kindness, it becomes a HUGE challenge. Self-attacks and judgement seem to come so easily to those on their recovery journeys, often accompanied by a total absence of kindness and self-compassion. Whenever I find myself in a conversation with someone who is putting themselves down, I ask if they’d be saying the same thing to a loved one, and almost 100% of the time, the answer is always something along the lines of, “no, but that’s different”. Why is it different? Shouldn’t we treat ourselves with the same type of care and kindness we show to those we love? I say YES!
This is obviously easier said than done, but it’s one that feels so crucial to incorporate into the recovery process. Not only will it feel good to just be kinder to yourself, but you will also find that by doing so, it will begin to feel easier to accept kindness and appreciation from those around you.
Some ideas on how to incorporate kindness into your daily routine:
- Start each morning (or end each day) with one compliment to yourself. They can be simple at first, and you can even bring in a support person to help get the ideas going!
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- When you catch yourself in a mode of self-attack, try and replace the thought of judgment with something positive that you can identify you did. Again, feel free to turn to your supports to help you with this process if it doesn’t come naturally at first.
- Treat yourself! Everyone deserves to treat themselves often in life, especially those who are fighting everyday through recovery. Take a nice bath, buy yourself that item you’d been eyeing up, give yourself an hour to do nothing but relax — whatever it may be, this act of kindness that you give yourself will absolutely pay off in the end!
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